My title does not exactly fit what this post will explore but I am wandering, and although I'm a bit lost, I know what I want. First off, school is going well. All of my classes are difficult but manageable as well as fun. Although I am not working to my full potential, I know this is going to be a successful semester. It is my junior year and any decisions I make will have a long term affect, therefor mistakes are not allowed. I'm struggling to find my place in my English class, I love my teacher because her first impression on people is passive and easy going but when it is time to teach, she is a whole other person. She is skilled, driven, and merciless. This may seem like the dream teacher, but when your efforts go towards getting an A+ it is questionable. Nevertheless, I will try to make this a learning experience.
As for ENW, we are doing fine. He is everything I am looking for. Funny, charming, articulate, black, and overall a wonderful person. His spirit is uplifting and he is an extremely positive person, most of the time. Just like every relationship we argue as well. But, although we argue, every argument ends in happiness embodied by "I wubb you's" and "don't ever think I dont care". He is truly, a breath of fresh air. This may seem a little negative and an indirect way of demeaning my ex boyfriend, but ENW is the epitome of what I searched for in my ex. For a very long time I wanted a rush, I wanted the chase, the passionate, unattainable love and I finally have it. But , since I am a "Catch 22", I am not pleased and the battle for my love has not been won. Once again I am unsatisfied, I want what I cannot have and that is ENW's full devotion. Although he puts in 110% I feel as though he cannot put that effort 24/7 and I want that, but I don't want him to smother me. I guess I really am lost, this title really doesn't fit me.....
-But she's just like a maze, where all of the walls are continually changing
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